Oh where to even begin?!? I suppose this all started a few weeks ago...
As all of you know, summertime is a wonderful time for teens. You get to take off from school and kick back with friends and yes, have that little summer romance.
Well my "summer romances" have been slightly disasterous to say the very least. Here is a short little run down... The first guy was extremely cynical, but for reasons that I could not understand at the time, I was beyond attracted to him. After the short couple weeks of late night conversations, and the taper off at the end, I finally realized that it was his ambition that I found so attractive.
The second guy was one that I had built up in my head for years, but when I finally got to spend some one-on-one time with him, the outcome resembled that of a big fish that you caught when you were a child and then grow up to realize that it really isn't as big as you remember.
The third was an absolute disaster. He seemed alright at the beginning...smiley, successful parents, really nice car... I went on exactly one date with that guy. As we were driving past our college campus, a campus police officer pulled out behind us, at which point he made the comment that he was glad he took all the weed out of his car before he picked me up. I freaked and promptly told him he could take me home. I absolutely am not about to throw away my brilliant future for a dumb boy who smokes too much.
So I figure three strikes and you're out right. That was my metality when I sat down on my bed and called my "big brother," David. After telling him about how great things were going in the dating department, he came about with his witty and calming sense of complete understanding. There is no better way to describe David than as the most discering man I have ever met. "I have this crazy idea..." he said to me. "Okay, shoot." "How 'bout you just not date anyone for a while."
And there it was. The thoughts that had been spinning uncontrollably inside of my head, netted and molded into a single sentence, awaiting my commitment. Here's the thing though... I have major commitment issues. I have no trouble sticking to something, as long as it's just an idea, something I can mold and change, but once I actually commit, it feels so set in stone, and I begin to feel trapped and start looking for an escape. The idea of actually saying, "I will not date" and following through struck an instant panic inside me.
So I had to decide in a split second what to do, and in the end, there was never really a choice. No comparison in the two outcomes. I was at a fork in the road, knowing that I could continue on the way I was going, or I could veer to the Right; take the path less traveled; and while I had no idea where the journey would lead me, I knew that it was really the only way to go.
Because I was tired of mediocre. Tired of settling for (in the words of the poet Janette...IKZ) those sorta-kinda's. "You know, sorta-kinda right, sorta-kinda wrong. His first name Luke. His last name Warm." Tired of the "close-enough." because you see "The bad thing is that I knew he wasn't you from the beginning. Because in the begining was the word, and he didn't even sound or shine like your Son." So I made the only choice there was to make. I said "Okay."
Now okay can mean so many things, but for me, in that moment, it meant everything. It meant taking a plunge into the great unknown; heading off into uncharted territory; letting go, and trusting God. That one word sealed my committment.
Because I have decided that I want that real Love. You know, the kind with the BIG L. Not the kind you have for music, or painting, or running, or whatever else you do that touches your soul. Not just the kind that you have for best friends, or siblings, or anyone else that holds a special place in your heart. I want the PURE love that comes from waiting and trusting God, and his plan for me. I want that one, THE one...you know that man that God made specifically for me.
I have spent at lot of time over the past few years, on my knees before my Father praying for the man that he has in mind for me. Praying for my husband, knowing that I may not have even met him yet. If I have the faith to do that, then what on Earth would have put the thought in my head that the man created specifically for me would be doing anything less than preparing himself for me. and praying that I may be preparing myself for him as well. Why on Earth would I settle?
I know that he is out there and when we finally discover one another, it will be glorious, just as our Savior planned it to be. So while I am certain that this journey has the potential to be long, I give up all my selfish earthly desires to be held, and I, Lacy Brianne, hereby commit to wait on You, My Lord, to deliver to me, you my husband.
I look forward to having my eyes opened to you, and will be sending prayers your way until then.
With all my Love,
Lacy
P.S. I encourage everyone to check out this video, and really take her words to heart. Strive to be like the women and men listed in those verses. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs&feature=youtube_gdata_player God has really given Janelle a gift for words. I was beyond spoken to by this.
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