Steady my heart-Day 5

Today was a day for reflection.

My devotion was in Proverbs 3:7-12.  I want to focus on two particular verses: 8 and 12.

Eight talks about how fearing the Lord and shunning evil will "give health to your body and nourish your bones."  and twelve states that "The Lord disciplines those He loves"

Verse 8 offers me so much peace because of the eating disorder that I struggled with.  That was by far one of the lowest valleys in my life.  I couldn't tell anyone that I had a problem, because it would add more to everyone else's stress levels.  I was under an immense amount of pressure to hold my whole world and everyone in it properly in orbit. 

I was saved when I was 5, so I always knew "who God was" and that He would "be there for me," but I never once stopped to think that He could just fix everything.  That if I trusted Him, he would be there to carry me.  I was determined to weather my storms independently. 

Verse 12 talks about being disciplined.  I used to feel that when bad things happened, it was because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to.  I had messed up somewhere along the line, and all those bad things were the result.  Then today I was thinking back to all the times I ever got in trouble with my dad.  He would always make sure that I knew what I had done wrong, before he disciplined me, and most the time, it was to keep me from doing something that would potentially hurt me. 

God is a lot like that.  He doesn't like disciplining us, but when He has to, He will make sure we know the cause and the punishment, and understand why it is just. 

There have been so many times throughout all of my trials that I have felt so separated from God.  I have felt so broken, hurt, abused, detatched.  Utterly Lost. During these times, I let the pain build up inside by hiding it.  That pain held on tighter than ever imagined. 

I was listening to Steady My Heart by Kari Jobe today and found a very subtle connection to the way I had felt.  It took me a long time to realize it, but that girl who went through all those trails didn't go through them alone.  Even when I chose to ignore that God was there to help, it didn't change the fact that He never left my side. 

The older I get, the more I grow in my relationship with God, the more I see that he really does steady me.  "Lover of my soul; Healer of my scars"  He heals my scars, He nourishes my body, He makes me whole.  Pretty neat stuff huh?

I hope you are enjoying this journey as much as I am!

Nourished,
Lacy Brianne